By Caitlin Sloan
I’ll be the first to admit, I’m a little too fascinated with star signs. Not to the degree of “decide every aspect of my life by the latest newspaper horoscope” – mostly because I let the cards do that, instead.
No, in all honesty I just really like reading something about my star sign and going “huh, that’s totally me.” And that’s almost exactly what this list is. It’s just… Well, it’s got a twist.
Instead of the traditional, relatable blurbs, we decided to have some political fun with it. So here’s a list of star signs, matched with Donald Trump’s tweets. Go crazy.
What could be more typical of an Aries than pride and waging war against… whatever this is.
Taureans, we all know you’re sassy and stubborn. Sometimes even to the point of blind faith in yourselves.
Gemini, Gemini, Gemini… Consistency is not your friend. And with Trump’s double standard (re: Obama playing basketball vs his own golfing) I’d say consistency isn’t his friend, either.
As our resident conspiracy theorists, the suspicion in this tweet should feel vaguely familiar to you, Cancer.
We know just how much you love to be center stage, Leo. This tweet embodies that desire, with some egotism tossed in for good measure.
Virgo, sometimes you let your rigid personal code jump into hyperdrive. It’s time to learn to put the boxing gloves away, and to stop responding to every attack with a counterattack.
It might not always be the most flattering trait, but we know how you get sometimes, Libra. It can be fun to wallow in self pity, and nothing says wallowing more than “boo hoo the media doesn’t like me!”
Scorpio, we know what happens when you feel like you’ve been betrayed – the claws come out. This is especially true if it’s someone you considered a friend. As a bonus, the apophasis is strong with this one.
Oh, Sagittarius. Your idealism can get the best of you sometimes, and leaving you promising more than you deliver – just like this tweet did.
If we’re being totally honest, Capricorn… Occasionally you can be a bit of a jerk. It’s okay though, we all get a little condescending sometimes. Just try to rein the know-it-all tendencies in before they reach this level.
Aquarius, sometimes it’s not really that the world is out to get you. You’re not always the misunderstood genius, sometimes your ideas just really aren’t all that stellar.
Your flair for the dramatic is unparalleled, Pisces. But sometimes those dramatics edge into overreactions to criticism. This is definitely one of those times.